


More Than Just A Brother

by chriswinchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Boy Melodrama "BM" Scene (Supernatural), Brotherly Love, Brothers, Canon Compliant, Chick-Flick Moments, Dean Winchester Needs a Hug, Dean Winchester Uses Actual Words, Dean Winchester and Sam Winchester Use Their Words, Dean Winchester is Sam Winchester's Parent, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s12e13 Family Feud, Episode: s12e14 The Raid, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Gen Work, Hurt/Comfort, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Mary Winchester's A+ Parenting, No Incest, No Slash, Post-Episode: s12e13 Family Feud, and gets it, hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:21:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25811980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chriswinchester/pseuds/chriswinchester
Summary: Instead of leaving the bunker, Mary sticks around and tries to convince Sam she's doing the right thing.When she apologizes for leaving them to raise themselves, Sam finally has enough, and tells her just how much Dean has done for him.--Have I ever mentioned I suck at summaries? Because I do.I just feel like the fight with Mary had potential for a huge BM moment, and this is my take on how it could have  gone.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Castiel & Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester & Mary Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Mary Winchester & Sam Winchester
Comments: 16
Kudos: 305





	More Than Just A Brother

**Author's Note:**

> This was born off my brain not being able to shut off and my intense love for Sam acknowledging that Dean is basically his parent.  
> I've watched that fight a thousand times and Jensen's "I never was" always gets me.  
> So here we go!

“Sam, please wait.” Says Mary, when her youngest is already halfway out the door.

Sam stops, seriously contemplating the idea of just walking out and pretending he didn’t hear her, not ready at all to continue the conversation with his mother. He decides to turn around anyway, and walks back to the table.

He nods, gesturing for her to speak without offering the sympathy he usually would.  
He’s done for tonight, has given enough and he’s just drained. All he wants to do is make sure Dean doesn’t drink himself to death, and go to sleep.

“I just… I don’t want to leave things like this between us. We’re family and I—I understand you’re pissed, and you have every right to be, but I don’t want to leave if we’re not okay.”  
Her voice is determined, she’s staring at Sam with an expectant look that both hurts him and annoys the shit out of him.

 _Family_ , she says, but he knows that word doesn’t mean the same to him as it does to her.  
Her actions prove it, her unwillingness to listen to them and recognize what she’s doing is a mistake confirms it.  
She doesn’t _know_ them, not who they are now, and she’s never bothered to learn more about them, preferring to go out on her own and pair up with the people that tortured him.

And he might be able to forgive her for that, really, but he’s not the only hurt by what she did.  
She lied, and deceived them, and they almost lost Cas because of her dishonesty.  
Now _that_ , is a thought he can't get behind.  
Because he doesn't care about himself, never really did, but God knows Cas is family and he cares about him.  
He is his brother, as much as Dean is, and they almost lost him because she decided lying to them was better than coming clean.

“No mom, we aren’t. I’m not saying it’s your fault, not per se. But Cas is my family, and the precious intel from your friends almost got him dead. If it weren’t for Crowley…” He trails off, running a hand through his hair.  
“What I’m saying is that Dean is right. You made your choice. You could have gotten to know us, but apparently working with them sounded better to you than getting to know Dean and me. I understand how hard it is, coming back to life. If anyone, I do. And we tried to give you time and space, I don’t know what else to tell you.”

Mary sighs, and looks defeated.

“I never wanted to hurt either of you. All I want is for you to have a shot at a normal life, and if what it takes is working with the brits, then that’s what I’ll do. The way you boys grew up… that’s not what I wanted for you and I will never forgive myself for leaving you alone.”

“I wasn’t alone. There was always someone there for me.”

“Sam, I read John’s journal. I’m not saying he didn’t love you, but he wasn’t much of a father to you either –“  
“—It’s not dad I’m talking about.” He cuts her off, and she looks at him with a questioning gaze.

“It’s Dean. He’s the one that raised me, the one that made sure I was fed and clothed and always had someone to rely on. Since he was four he gave up on his own childhood to make sure _I_ could have one.  
I didn’t even know about hunting until 1991. For _eight years_ , he protected me from all this.  
For eight years he sheltered me and made sure I could be a kid for as long as possible, while he took on the weight of knowing monsters could come and get us anytime.” He stops for a second, to take in Mary’s expression. The unbelieving look on her face pushes him to continue.

“And it’s not like that’s all he did. I don’t even know how many times he went without food, so that I could eat.  
Little things he probably doesn’t think I noticed – like the jobs he’d get to make sure I had clothes that fit me, or shoes that didn’t look like they ran twelve rounds with a werewolf. The way he’d always try to convince dad to stay in town long enough for me to give any tests or exams I had to, just to make sure I didn’t get behind on school. I never would have made to Stanford without him - hell, I couldn’t have done any of it without Dean.

“There have been times where I didn’t appreciate what he did for me. Even blamed him for being so loyal to dad, ignoring the insults and the beatings he’d get for trying to protect me and stand up to him for me. Times where I was a dick to him, did him wrong. And yet he had my back, every step of the way.  
You weren’t there, and I wish you had been, but not for me. I had all I needed. I had a parent that looked out for me and a brother that was always my best friend. I wish you had been there so that Dean could have had that too.”

“I had no idea.” She says, bringing a hand to brush off a tear on her cheek.

“I know, but you should have trusted us anyway. I’m not telling you all this to make you feel guilty. I’m telling you so you can understand why you need to go, and why I’m not stopping you.  
Dean and I haven’t always been on the same page. It was often because of things we couldn't control, but we have had some serious arguments over time. I hurt him more than I could ever put into words, said some really nasty things that I know he still struggles with sometimes.

"But in the last few years we’ve gotten better at being a united front, really gaining back that trust that got broken. And if there’s one thing I know for sure, is that what you did – it’s gonna destroy him. It doesn’t matter what your intentions were, all he’s gonna see is that his own mom decided he wasn’t enough.  
Right now, I don’t care about what the brits are offering, what lies they’re telling you. I wouldn’t care if I thought they were telling the truth, either. Right now, my only job is standing behind my brother. I owe him everything, more than I could ever explain to you, and more than he’s ever gonna give himself credit for.

"So just go. And when you realize what a big mistake you made, come back and Dean will be more than willing to help you fix it – _because that’s the kind of person he is_.”

Without waiting for an answer, he walks out the war room and heads for the kitchen, already anticipating the mood he’s going to find Dean in, and preparing himself to be whatever his brother will need him to.  
Because however much he’s hurting, he knows Dean’s hurting twice as much.

When he enters the room, he’s not surprised to see the bottle of whiskey on the table, or the half drunk glass standing next to it. As he looks around, is the sight of Dean standing in front of the fridge that catches him off guard.  
As soon as he senses Sam enter, he turns around with a smile on his face that the youngest simply can’t place.

“Hamburgers or pancakes?” He asks, and to say Sam is confused is not nearly enough.

He’d been expecting alcohol and screaming, definitely not a homemade dinner.

“Huh?” Is his not–so–eloquent answer, to which Dean rolls his eyes and continues.

“Burger it is then. Sit.”

Not really knowing what else to do, he obliges.  
Dean moves through the kitchen swiftly, getting out the ingredients and arranging their dinner, never once looking at the whiskey that’s still on the table Sam is now sitting at.  
Once the meat is cooking and the bread is ready, he turns around to look at Sam.

“What crawled up your ass and died, little brother?” he asks, still freaking _smiling_.  
“You look like you’ve… well, not seen a ghost, but you get the point.”

Completely at a loss as to how to handle this cheery version of his brother, Sam decides honesty is the best policy.

“I just… this is isn’t what I was expecting.” He admits, glancing at the alcohol in front of him.

The smile on Dean’s face falls, and he sighs.

“I heard what you told mom.” He explains, and Sam looks away.

He hadn’t meant for him to hear all that, even though it is no secret how he feels about his brother.

“Oh.” Again, very eloquently.

“I was gonna make sure you didn’t… I don’t know, man. Some part of me thought you were gonna side with her. Guess I was wrong.” He chuckles.

When Sam doesn’t answer, he goes on.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you, but she’s mom. I would have understood if you weren’t willing to let that go for me. I was ready to get drunk and move on, the usual bullshit that you hate and never gets me anywhere. But then I heard what you told her and figured…”

He stops for a moment, cursing himself for not being able to talk about his emotions like Sam does.

“What?” Sam asks, eyes watery, and all Dean can see is the twelve years old kid that looked at him like he had all the answers in the world.

“I figured, if you really felt that way, getting drunk and passing out wouldn’t really be the best way to level up, y’know?” he finishes.

“I meant everything I said back there, Dean. And you coping the only way you know wasn’t gonna change that. Nothing is. I’m on your side. Even if I haven’t always acted like it, I am. And… Thank you, for being there for me. I don’t know if I’ve ever told you how much I really appreciate everything you did for me, and how much that cost you.”

The guilt he feels when thinking about their childhood, what a brat he’d been to his big brother when all he did was protecting him – that’s not something he is ever going to be okay with. Even if Dean apparently is.

“It didn’t _cost_ me anything, Sammy. It ain’t like I spent every day resenting it, or you. You’re my little brother, watching out for you was second nature. Don’t feel bad about it, ‘cause I don’t. I just wish I could have done more, there’s a lot of bad shit I couldn’t protect you from… and I’m sorry mom did what she did. I don’t know how she could ever work with them after what they did to you.”

Sam shakes his head.

“It’s ‘cause she doesn’t know me. Doesn’t have that bond with me.”

Dean stays silent for a few seconds, then pats Sam on the shoulder.

They look at each other in the eyes, communicating in a way only two people that have spent nearly every day of their lives together could without words, then Dean nods.

“We really hit the jackpot when it comes parents, huh?” he jokes, laughing a little and hoping to lighten the mood, ignoring the sting he feels in his eyes.

“I think I got pretty lucky.”

Smiling, Sam gets up, reaches his brother and pulls him into a hug.  
Dean freezes at first, then wraps his arms around him, holding him tighter than he has in a while. They stay like that for longer than either of them is willing to admit, seeking reassurance in the other’s hold, reminding themselves that no matter what happens they are in it together – and that is enough.

Once they let go, both a bit teary eyed, it’s just in time for Dean to finish making those burgers.  
They bring their plates to the war room along with a six pack – purposely leaving the whiskey untouched – and neither of them says anything when Sam takes the take out grab Mary had brought and puts it in the trash before sitting down.

The dinner is a walk down memory lane. It starts when “Do you remember that time in Nebraska?” and continues with anecdotes and stories they both heard and told a million times, reminders of simpler and happier times with one constant: the two of them, together.

That’s how Cas finds them a couple hours later, still sitting in front of each other, Dean laughing at the expense of Sam’s fifth grade failed science project, while the other shakes his head, unable to hide a smile.  
When the bunker door opens and he walks in, they both turn to greet him from their seats.  
“Hello Dean, Sam.” He scans the room, his head tilted to the side in that way that shows he’s trying to figure something out, then asks: “Where’s your mother?”

The brothers turn serious for a moment, then Sam answers.  
“She left. We’ll explain later, but she probably won’t be back.”  
“I’m sorry.” He offers, quickly walking down the stairs and joining them at the table.

Dean looks around, at his brother’s expectant gaze and Castiel’s genuine empathy; he remembers all they’ve been through, how they’ve stuck with each other. He thinks about how destroyed he’d feel if either of them walked out of his life, a kind of hurt that’s much more raw and powerful than what he’s feeling right now – which is just the shuttering of an illusion.

“I’m not.” He answers, handing Cas a beer and gesturing for him to sit down.

They spend the night like that, laughing and eating leftover pie, while their phones blow up with texts that go ignored and the whiskey bottle lays forgotten on the kitchen table.

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly don't know how I feel about this, but here it is anyway.  
> It was written at 4 AM and barely revised so I apologize for any mistakes.  
> Dean is probably a bit OOC, but I tried my best to keep him as canon as possible.
> 
> Hope y'all enjoyed it, let me know what you think!


End file.
